<!-- --><!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(http://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/697174003-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=23107088&amp;blogName=blablab-land&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=BLUE&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Ftzatzatzu.blogspot.com%2Fsearch&amp;blogLocale=es_ES&amp;homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Ftzatzatzu.blogspot.com%2F" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div>
This is the blablab-land~♥

I’m the blablabla in the middle of this lalaland.

berlina (who)
♥ is 20
♥ is currently suffering from a brain damage
♥ is inconcludable
♥ worships arts-journalism-fashion
♥ craves for money, travelling, and hedon lifestyle
♥ was not born to be a saint of morality
♥ is not educated


here (in)
Singapore

cook me (at)
berlinawinata[at]gmail[dot]com

say (what)
fuschia is the new pink!

Muses~♥

“He who possesses art and science has religion; he who does not possess them, needs religion.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done.”
Madonna

“My friends, there are no friends.”
Coco Chanel

“I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out. I work very hard, and I am worth every cent.”
Naomi Campbell

"If I were a man, you would have shaken my hand, bought me a scotch, and given me a key to an office."
Samantha Jones - Sex and the City

“God gave me style and gave me grace. God put a smile upon my face.”
Coldplay - God Put a Smile upon Your Face



Rattles and blablablas~♥

throw me your blablablas and comments on the posts here.




Credits~♥

layout & customization moi myself!!!
banner heypreppy (photobucket)
background image pegaleiway (photobucket)


it's ok, i'm good
domingo, octubre 18, 2009



Another good friend has just left the singleville.

Though I’m happy for her, it’s just sad to know that my position on someone’s priority list has been shifted down. Again. Not that I’ve been in anyone’s priority list in the first place, but still, you know…I am a second class friend now.

Now that everyone’s busy (with their boyfriends and/or other friends and/or stuffs), I must get myself used to dine alone, go to Sephora alone, hang out in café alone, and *insert all activities* alone; unless they suddenly feel like hanging out with me again (this actually has happened for quite some time).

And yea all that blablabla ‘you’re still a good friend of mine’ blablabla crap can’t buy me.

I suddenly fucking hate this all lovey dovey situation. I don’t hate them though.


PS:

Yes, I am just fucking jealous. Especially cos it seems like everyone’s playing behind my back. Oh yea I forgot, who am I for them to tell anyway.




Etiquetas: , , ,


0 comentario(s) aquí, en la tierra @ 1:03 AM
it was clear, but probably wasn't
jueves, octubre 15, 2009



I know she lied. Well, maybe she didn’t. But she clearly hid the truth.
I know she needed someone to talk to. Maybe she didn’t. But I clearly was a cunt.

No more phone call for near couples of days. Maybe I don’t need it. But I clearly just have lied.




Etiquetas: , ,


0 comentario(s) aquí, en la tierra @ 9:41 PM
i am a snail
martes, octubre 13, 2009


I am a snail.


PS:

Just want to test twitterfeed, fyi.

Etiquetas:


0 comentario(s) aquí, en la tierra @ 2:52 PM
"
lunes, octubre 12, 2009




Had a lovely dinner with good friends who are now an item.

No matter how I try to look at it, I guess love is indeed sweet.





Etiquetas:


0 comentario(s) aquí, en la tierra @ 2:11 AM
love is sweet, love is blablabla...
domingo, octubre 11, 2009


I started the day trying to work my ass off for the FYP progress report, but I ended up eating cup noodles in the middle of the night and falling in love. With a guy. See below.




Ricky Van Veen. Ok, he is not this cool all the time in real life, but pretty close. And he's got a pretty girlfriend. S.o.b.s.



I personally think he's a perfect image of Michael Moscovitz from The Princess Diaries series (yes I read these - talking about trace of now non-existent teenage-hood, and I know that the said guy is so going to kill me if he knows I compare him to one lead male character from a cheesy teenage-novel-turned-disney-movie. I mean, seriously, who isn't?).
Thanks for myself betraying the initially-strong allegiance to furnish all the works. I always do this. Fuck.
So anyway, actually I’ve been spending more time being ass-glued to the chair watching College Humor’s videos instead of doing what I should have been doing. It is a comedy website, but my favorite is their original videos, especially those from Hardly Working series. This series consists of short comedy clips played and written by their crews (writers, editors, including the mighty hot RVV the boss) acting as themselves, and were shot in their New York office.
So they are writers. They work in New York. And they do have cool sense of humor. Isn’t that fucking awesome??! I am seriously thinking that they probably have the best job in the world ever.






Honestly, other than RVV, I am in love with Patrick Cassels, too (the skinny, curly haired guy in the clip; the guy who says ‘whaaaaaaat?’ GEEEE isn’t he cute???!!). Talk about boys, I realize that I actually think that nerds are hot, so are the nerd-and-funny ones, and so are the ones who act gay (refer to RVV in the clip above). I remember last time I had a crush with this boy who worked on Ripcurl shop back in Palembang because he was wearing a singlet and he’s pretty hot, and he was checking me out. Then when I was on IA there was this guy who worked at the nearby eateries; he was cute and he always smiled all the time so I used to come back there to eat on the next….

(blablabla, the bottom lines are: a. there is just a very thin line between hot and not, b. I simply fall in and out of love all the times, no big deal)






PS:
This is probably the most gibberish post ever, but it probably is because I’m in love. You know, when you are falling in love, your IQ drops like 10 to 50 points, depending on the depth and consistency. It is true, as reported in Cosmopolitan May 2009 edition.



PPS:
I was tempted to create a new account at tumblr, because I saw someone’s tumblr page and the layout was awesome (just black and plain, but the color coordination was really nice). And I really did create an account. But afterwards when I tried to post something, I didn’t really like it anymore. It’s kind of less simple to use and I don’t like the font and the text editing; maybe because I’m still a noob. So no worries, seems like I’ll be sticking on here for long enough. But if you want to check out my tumblr page, it’s here.



PPPS:
I am still traumatized by the OT (not going to explain what this is) experience last time. I must keep on reminding myself that I am out of his reach, so I’m actually okay. I am okay. I just want to say to whomever it may concern: ‘Please redefine ‘high class’’.



PPPPS:
This is really the most gibberish post ever. My English teacher would really kill me for lack of informational value, clarity, depth and entertainment in this post. That, and also for the over abundance of postscripts and postpostspostpostscripts. I kinda like postscripts though. You see that I almost always have at least one in my post.



PPPPPS:
Those statements in PS, I lied.



PPPPPPS:
Please, for the sake of my sanity, don’t ask about how my progress report is doing.


PPPPPPPS:
Alright, this one’s just to piss whomever who dislike postscripts. Here’s my favorite quote by RVV from College Humor.





“Remember this, kid, heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Now, seriously, get the fuck out of my office.”

RVV



Seriously how could you not love that??






Etiquetas: , , ,


0 comentario(s) aquí, en la tierra @ 2:48 AM
gay-haters: the quiz
domingo, octubre 04, 2009


My quest to find good music on the net got me infuriated sometimes. It was the internet commenters. They probably have the most uneducated and misbehaving mouths on earth ever, which they themselves find so hard to keep shut.

Encountering youtube pages of some fantastic artists (the likes of Queen, Sliimy, La Roux, among others), it was irritating that instead of giving positive/reasonably critical/appropriate disapproving/polite comments, those bollocks were instead more interested to diss the sexual orientation of the said artists, which mostly are/were gays or bis.

Please tell me why I couldn’t be mad when Queen’s live performance of ‘Another Ones Bites the Dusts’ on youtube was commented by 98759289 (random number, fyi) freaky homophobes who seemed to be so amused to mock the sexual connotation behind white hotpants and scarf Mercury wore, instead of enjoying the great vocal.

All the times, I’ve been baffled by the ludicrous reasoning behind the attribution of sexual orientation on someone’s professional work. I mean, so what if Freddie Mercury did dudes? Did it change the fact that he was a superbly great, probably the best, vocalist of all times? Does being gay make Sliimy’s music less interesting to hear?

Thanks must also be extended to those religious freaks who have made the comment pages even juicier. Dude, please. So I got it, you’re not gay and you’re going to heaven. Good for you. But please save your preachers for somewhere else. We're listening to the music here. Church time is 9am Saturday, if I'm not wrong.

As much as I believe that any preference/choice in religion/sexual orientation/style/attitude is okay as long as it doesn’t harm anything/anyone, I still see that they are probably other reasons behind the deep hatred.

I’m a compassionate person; therefore I sacrifice some time to set a little quiz below to understand these gay haters’ rationales.



PS:


I don’t drink, but just assume that I was drunk when I was writing this. I still put this up anyway. Just to piss everyone off.



Etiquetas: ,


0 comentario(s) aquí, en la tierra @ 2:31 AM
of the stockholm syndrome and ninety-eighty-four ride
sábado, octubre 03, 2009


Being busy has turned me, a person, into this industrialist-capitalist-opportunist-like cute little mind. In between classes, laboratory sessions, finishing this and that and polishing here and there, and taking care of my future, I feel tired. I want to believe that this body is not a mere cog, but it turns out that it is. We’re back to ninety-eighty-four ride.

In some occasions lately I’ve told Jong so many times that I am probably, the victim of Stockholm syndrome, a very acute one. And even though to realize and admit such fact requires an overwhelmingly great effort, I don’t hate it, I appreciate. Though I hope the below story won’t come true.

***

If I were over a hundred years old, the scene here now would be me sitting hunchbacked, with every sign of failing botox treatments on the face, telling this story to grandchildren or whomever might care…

When I was young, I was always the kind of girl with big and plentiful of dreams. I wanted to be a journalist flying all over the place to get pieces to write. I wanted to go to New York and study fashion or history or art and never look back. I wanted to be able to sip fresh cappuccinos in Rome in daily basis. I wanted to spend lovely days in alfrescos having tapas and drinks and love and live. I wanted to sit on the lip of the Nile and enjoy youth as if I’d never grow old. And many other wants…

However someday, somehow, gravity and its cronies denied my dreams. I was pulled back to the earth and stuck to a place, let’s say a closet, for years. Dear, have I tried to escape. Many times, many ways. I didn’t succeed. In the period of denial, the spirit I had was the spirit I wish I still have now. I wanted to break free in every way possible, and I kept dreaming, and kept denying.

But these people, they treated me oh so well. How could you be not nice to those who were nice? Every spit I threw, they gave me smile. Big and wide. When I had tantrums, they pacified. You would think they loved you. Even I thought they loved me.

Then, what could you do? Your heart, it melted. You softened. You would let go. Of your dreams. You would succumb. You would smile back. You would love back. And you would stay. Did I stay.

The Stockholm syndrome. It killed. Your escape plans, your dreams. When you finally realized what happened, the moment of truth, you would have been inside the closet for too long. Your paws weakened, your teeth blunted, your vision blurred. It was already too late. Whether their smiles, their loves, their attentions were real or fake, it was already too late to care.

In the end, you realized. You didn’t have what you thought you had. You had never had what you thought you’d ever had. And one look from the corner of your eyes, two looks; you slowly launched one hand from the closet, reached the door, and slammed it closed.

Stockholm syndrome.

And you stayed inside, repeated their chants, you gave up, you loved back.


PS:

It has become harder to write. I don’t know if I’ve lost my sense and all. But there were some points of time in which I stopped and thought; maybe I should give up on this writer stuffs all together and get a proper boring life. And there were even more time in which I would have written pages and suddenly I’d stop, re-read, reflect, conclude ‘what the fuck’ and in the end, delete it all over. I hate such moments. It did feel like aborting an unborn handicapped child.

I am insane. I just want to be able to write again. Good ones.


PPS:

If you think this writing is so Palahniuk, you are right. Orwellianism works well with Palahniuk. Both men are geniuses. I’m the idiot one who can only imitate. Thus, thou shalt hast no mercy.



Etiquetas: , , ,


0 comentario(s) aquí, en la tierra @ 1:29 AM